You know what I’ve noticed since starting the #ImNotSorryMovement? I’ve been able to catch a lot more of those pesky negative thoughts.
You know the thoughts. Right when you are about to do something that might not be a “normal” thing for you to do, you pause because an inner voice says “Eh. I won’t be good at that.” And then you stop what it is you were about to do and turn and walk away.
I have been here many, many times before.
It’s so easy to just give up instead of watching yourself “fail.” (This is just your negative voice talking.) You give up too soon so you’re not able to actually see if you will succeed.
I think the worst thing my negative voice has drilled into me is “I can’t be successful at this or that because that sort of success isn’t meant for me. Other people get to reap the benefits that I never will be able to.”
It’s downright awful when you think about it. Because what does that other person really, have that I don’t have? Nothing except a different voice telling them different things. Their voice is saying “Just go for it! What do you have to lose? If we fail, that’s okay! We can try again!”
This is the same voice I once had as a kid. When I would fall off my bike/scooter/skateboard/pogo-stick and then do it again. Or when I would come up with a great “business idea” (lemonade stand/cookie stand/amusement park for my friends in my backyard) and it wouldn’t pan out the way I wanted to, I would come up with a new idea.
I. WAS. RELENTLESS.
Nothing could stop me from retrying whatever I had “failed” at.
But then in middle school, when the constant bullying began, a new voice entered my head. A voice I have let control me for literally half of my life.
I’ve wasted so many moments, minutes, hours, years of my life thinking that I’m not good enough. Holding back from the things I really want to do because of one little voice.
And through my “healing” journey (we’ll call it), I’ve learned what this voice really is. This voice, the negative one from within me, wasn’t built until a bunch of kids with their own issues, put it there.
That negative voice in your head is made up of all the things you have heard through out your life.
Mine is made up of;
-The middle school kids who bullied me for two years straight
-The boyfriend in high school that told me I wouldn’t be a good lawyer or psychologist and that I should just be a nurse.
-The boyfriend after high school that used my fear to control, belittle, and ultimately physically abuse me.
-The images I saw and the things I heard coming at me from every media outlet, from every T.V. show, from every song, from every movie. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Figure out what yours is made of and try to be conscious of that voice. When you feel yourself hold back from something you really truly want to do, ask yourself “why?”. If you hear something negative, try to flip it. Think of the opposite. The positive. The truth.
It takes work, but it can be done. You can turn your life around.
Don’t “wake up” at 60 and think “Where’d my life go? I wanted to do so many things, but I never did them.”
Don’t live your life with regrets.